The Coalition’s so-called potential saviour, Angus Taylor, has spent a harrowing 3 hours trapped in his parliamentary office are confusing push with pull when trying to open the door.

”It’s not the first time that we have had to go out and rescue Angus,” said a Parliament house security guard. ”These doors can be a bit tricky at times.”

”We would install electric doors in his office, but they don’t work for Angus on account of him not having a soul.”

When asked what other issues security had to deal with in the first week back for parliament, the security guard said: ”Oh you know the usual, Barnaby accidentally walking in to the women’s toilets, again.”

”Pauline Hanson getting stuck in a loop in the corridors as she refuses to turn left.”

”Mostly it’s an easyish job, in fact I spend most of my day trying to avoid being asked to join the Greens drum circle.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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